Like a Turtle

Up and out of my window, I can see only the tinniest wisp of cotton-white in the sky. The last day of November and I wonder if this will be the last day of clear skies for the next few months. I can't hazard to believe that - the outlook would be too grim.

The weather is fine and I haven't been exercising lately. Today I WILL take a walk(s). You know, I believe that I am my own worst enemy, because I can't do anything against myself. I am a grand champion at coercion, deception, and distraction. I'm as heavy as a mountain and as illusive as a pickle in the jar. If I say that I WILL take a walk, chances are that I MIGHT take a walk. Sometimes, that MIGHT even turns into WON'T - after I convince myself that it's too cold or tomorrow will suffice. Terrible. I am my own worst enemy.

I burnt myself out (in a good way) on Friday with human company. For the first time in over three months, I was with three Americans and talking natural English. We celebrated Thanksgiving together in a nearby town. Our first Thanksgiving on our own and the Turkey turned out great (aka not raw or burnt)and tasting faintly of the apple cider we had basted it in. Five hours of fun. I opted out of going for drinks - it occurred to me that I'd rather spend my money elsewhere. I went home instead, which turned out to be a good decision. I met one of my students on the train and we had a nice chat. She and her father drove me back to my place, thereby cutting my 20minute walk in the cold to a 4 minute drive. <3 Kindness and the random gesture of concern and selflessness. How often do you give and receive? Personally, I sometimes become too nervous to see clearly and miss the opportunity or become blind to the need for generosity. It's my new goal to calm down (alright, that's an OLD goal) and become more generous.

Day by day, we'll see. I've been dragging my feet on updating. The spice to write has left my brain. Sometimes, I'll be laying in bed, imagining a random character who's doing something brave/abnormal (like crawling through the mud or swimming in a red ocean). Did you realize, if the oceans were red, so would the sky? But the ideas are as quick and solitary as the click of a camera lens. They never make it to paper or computer pixels. Someday, I'd love to write a book with substance. Until then, my characters just have fun in the Land of Nowhere. And I'm left wondering if I should muster the courage to have my own adventures before I arrogantly write those for others. I'm too young to start writing. I haven't done enough yet. Traveling doesn't count. ;)

Austria is lit up like a giant Christmas tree! Today is the first day of Advent, the season of Christmas markets, mulled wine, and lights. My town is exceptionally beautiful. I can now answer my earlier post and point out what the beauty is: illumination. I took a video, because the photos don't show it very well. Posting later.

Well, I was starved for fresh air so I opened my window. Now my fingers are sluggish from the cold. I might go to the lobby to read in the sunlight. Enjoy your day and the sun or rain that it brings!

P.S. new artsy photos:

Once Upon an Austria